Fifty Shades Darker--Final Thoughts (Part II)

In which Fifty Shades Darker fails to depict the healthy, loving relationship, mildly kinky relationship E.L. James intended...and also fails to deal with the physically and emotionally abusive relationship she actually wrote.

Next up: Fifty Shades Freed. *weeps*

Fifty Shades Darker--Final Thoughts (Part I)

Time for the final thoughts on this book! First up--its many, many failures: in plotting, in characterization, in portrayal of BDSM, and as fanfic.

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter 21(Part III)In which chocolate cake is equated with childishness, Ana slut-shames her own mother, Not!Renee mourns for Ana's biological father (which annoys Ana no end), Ana mentally whines that she doesn't want a big wedding (thus telling the audience that she will certainly get one), Grey complains that a dress HE ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter Twenty-One (Part II)In which Ana makes fun of one of her closest friends; Grey fishes for compliments; Grey's bodyguard Taylor is wildly OOC; Grey is too insecure to cope with other men seeing Ana in short dresses; Ray is not thrilled by his daughter rushing into marriage with a guy she started seeing/fucking less than ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter 20 (Part II)In which Grey lies more about his helicopter "crashing" in a large and very populated national park; Harry thinks of how to reverse engineer a curse by Loki (which will CERTAINLY end well); Ana feels that Grey has been unfaithful to her with helicopters and other women's hair; Grey compares getting engaged ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter Twenty (Part I)In which Ana and Grey have a long, long, long sex scene in a freezing cold shower, Ket asks Harry to help her break a spell Loki put on her, Thomas is convinced that Christian Grey is a vampire that feeds on lust, emotions and souls--literally--and Ana refers to Christian "sucking as he goes," which could ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter 19 (Part II)In which Grey tells an elaborate lie about where he was for the eight whole hours that he was missing--which doesn't hold up to a two-minute Google search; the entire plot involving José Rodriguez's interest in and attraction to Ana is abruptly jettisoned; and Ana gives Grey a very boring birthday present ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter 19 (Part I)

In which Ana angsts repeatedly about Grey being really most sincerely dead, ELJ takes dozens of Grey's and Ana's quotes out of context to create the illusion of romance, and the new sporker is baffled and scared by Grey's words and behavior. (No, the new sporker isn't Leah Clearwater.)

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter Eighteen (Part II)In which Ket and Loki banter and get drunk, Ana Steele thinks that fucking in a parked car is dark and edgy, Grey is angered when Ana closes her eyes during sex, Ana finds erotic photos that exist for an extremely scummy reason, Grey pouts because Ana won't give him a birthday surprise before his ( Read more... )

Fifty Shades Darker--Chapter Eighteen (Part I)In which Ana and Grey go house-hunting, ELJ doorknobs egregiously, Ana develops a random fear of horses and forgets that her alleged dream job exists, Grey and Ana attempt to make each other horny in a club for rich people, the two of them have noisy sex in an occupied elevator, Ket samples Asgardian ( Read more... )